Sudden Jerking of Arms, and Yelling

29 Oct 2010 28 Comments

by Bruce (born 2b me) in Asperger's, autism Tags: Asperger's, autism, embarrassment, questions, social faux pas

SUDDEN JERKING OF ARMS, AND YELLING: Is this autism or something else?

I feel weird about letting this out. I have never talked to anyone about it, and I don’t want to lose my dear readers and blogging friends. But I have puzzled over this for ages. 

HERE IS WHAT I EXPERIENCE: I will be sitting in a chair, or maybe driving, and my hands and forearms will suddenly fly upwards. My hands will sometimes clap once, and sometimes I will let out a yell (AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!). I never do this in public. Occasionally, if I am a passenger in a car, and not engaged in conversation but remembering one, my hand will snap up off my knee a few inches. But I never yell or clap in public.

HERE IS WHAT BRINGS IT ON: This response is triggered by memories, or recollections, of social interactions that did not go well in my judgement. Memories of any other kind of failure, mess-up, or disaster, will not elicit this response. There must be a social component.

A RECENT EXAMPLE: I drove about one-and-a-half hours to a meditation meeting. I arrived early, as is my habit, and started helping one of the co-leaders to set up the cushions. He asked, “How was the drive up?” I answered “Oh, it was fun”, (I drive a Mustang ), but then I proceeded, while setting up cushions, to tell him how and why the journey was “fun”, and I only stopped part way through my explanation when I realized I was talking to his back as he continued setting up.

His question, “How was the drive up?” was simply a greeting, his way of saying, “I see you and welcome you,” period, full-stop. He didn’t want to know how or why my drive was “fun”. His question was in the order of “How are you?”. Just a social convention. But of course I took it literally.

Then, about three hours later as I was driving home in the dark, I suddenly lurched, or yanked myself forward, at the steering wheel, and let out a yell. The trigger was simply a flashback to the co-leader’s greeting and my unskilled response. My physical lurch and yell were simultaneous to the flashback, and not at all a conscious or deliberate act. It was something that just happened to me. The strange thing is that at the time of my social “error”, I wasn’t blushing or embarrassed. I may have felt a bit rejected. Mostly, I simply realized I should stop talking. It was only later that I had this sudden “reaction”. I can write about it now, two days after the event, without having any reaction at all.

(Edit: the day after writing this, but before posting, I was driving and had a sudden flashback to the exchange with the co-leader. I involuntarily lurched forward and loudly vocalized “Oh, sh*t,” So I guess at some subconscious level it must be really bothering me).

MY QUESTION: I am new to the autism spectrum world and have so much to learn. I am wondering if the behaviour described above can be attributed to autism, or is it something else? I would appreciate your thoughts on this.